Dealing with infidelity is one of the hardest things in the world to do. For a woman who has been betrayed by her husband, it can be virtually impossible to keep the mind from filling in the shadowy details, especially if you know little to nothing about the other woman. Recurring thoughts of the affair, whether it was a one time thing or full-blown relationship, keep flashing over and over in your mind.
Keep reading to learn how you can weaken the power of the fantasies as you strengthen your own inner power.
It is normal for those fantasies to revolve around a woman you believe to be more desirable than you. You may see images of them walking hand in hand while enjoying what was once one of your favorite spots. Worst of all, these recurring thoughts often likely include scenes of lovemaking. While it's hard to stop these awful scenes from playing out in the mind, all it does is make matters worse, making dealing with infidelity even more difficult.
These recurring thoughts
do not help in dealing with infidelity. In fact, they only make the fear, betrayal, and distrust worse. These thoughts drag you into a pit of despair where you are helpless to fight them off. Consciously, you don't want to see these emotionally, draining thoughts anymore, but the subconscious takes over and there they are again. You know that dealing with infidelity this way is wrong, but you have no control over it.
Having to suffer through recurring thoughts of a devastating affair can be compared to falling into quicksand. The more you struggle against it, the faster you sink and the farther away you get from dealing with infidelity. The longer you let these disturbing thoughts to drain you, the more physically and emotionally weaker you become.
There are some steps you can take towards dealing with infidelity that can stop the recurring thoughts from torturing you. These steps are not easy but if you really want the images to stop and begin to live your life again, it can be done.
The following 3-step technique can take some of the power away from the images and pass it on to you to use in dealing with infidelity.
Step 1 - Schedule a time and place to let in the recurring thoughts.
Find somewhere to call your private place where you can go to consciously let in the recurring thoughts. One good way of dealing with infidelity is to gain control over those thoughts. Pick a specific time when you will let them in. The thought of letting those thoughts in on purpose may not seem right, but you may soon find out that when you control when and where they occur, this can make you feel empowered.
Step 2 - Let in the recurring thoughts.
When you are in your quiet place during the time that you choose, let those recurring thoughts run freely through your head. Because you have let them in on purpose, you can gain control of them.
Step 3 - Take control of the recurring thoughts.
Once the images are running freely in your mind, it is up to you to manipulate them in order to gain control. This is the first step in properly dealing with infidelity. One way you can do this is to run these uncomfortable fantasies backwards in your mind. Think of it as rewinding a movie. Many people begin to feel better when they do this, but if you feel it is not helping, don't continue with the exercise.
If the exercise does not make you uncomfortable and seems to helping you feel better, repeat the "rewind" several times, doing it more quickly each time you do. Repetition will plant these changes into your memories.
This exercise is just one of the ways to get you on the way to dealing with infidelity and wiping out those recurring thoughts.
There is a program called
How to Survive an Affair that was developed by Dr. Frank Gunzburg, Ph.D. Besides the technique described above, his program has even more ways for dealing with infidelity and putting an end to upsetting recurring thoughts. Dr. Gunzburg's system can help you to cope with and move past these recurring thoughts and on to a peaceful and better life.
