Dealing With Difficult People At Work? Meet The Overextender

Dealing with Difficult People at Work or in your personal life often means dealing with difficult people with a whole range of complex and complicated personality characteristics. What I often call the Dealing with People Pack of Cards contains a whole array of interesting cards. Many of them you have probably already met in your working or personal life.

NEGATIVITY IN THE WORKPLACE

There is no doubt you've met what I call the Negative Norms. We'll talk about them in another article but they are a totally negative person. They know how to take any suggestions and explain why it will never, ever work.

WELCOME THIS NEW PERSON IN YOUR PACK

But let's consider a different person in the pack. Once again you'll know them straight away if you live or work with them. I call them the Overextenders.

THE WARNING IS THERE ABOUT OVEREXTENDERS

Interestingly, they are not often thought of as being difficult. They certainly do not exhibit many of the behaviors of others in the pack of cards. They are not overly aggressive, obnoxious, stubborn or hard-headed. In fact, they are very much the opposite. They are enthusiastic, energetic and obliging. However, their compliant and obliging behavior actually makes things harder for themselves and others.

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK AND HOME

For them, the big problem is their inability to say NO to others. They can't set their own boundaries and be clear with others what they will and won't do. In basic terms, they're always overextending themselves.

COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE WHO PROMISE TOO MUCH

In working with Overextenders you have to realize that they are often obliging in order to keep the peace and save any further arguments. But many times this just means more stress and disharmony as they always over promise and rarely are able to deliver.

THE UNWANTED RESULTS OF THEIR ACTIONS

These Overextenders never want to hurt anyone, but when they take on too much that is often the result. They cannot do it all and break their promises to others. They cannot be relied upon to do what they say they will. In the end, the unfortunate Overextender is seen as totally unreliable by others.

WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE WHO ARE OVEREXTENDERS

So are you dealing with an Overextender at work or home? If so, you will be frustrated by their behavior, particularly if many others are relying on them to fulfil their promises. Or are you actually a constant Overextender yourself? You will surely be stressed out and heading along the path to burnout.

CAN AN OVEREXTENDER CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR?

But are Overextenders capable of changing their behavior? Of course they can! But not without lots of assistance from others. We'll consider some ideas on how to help them in another Dealing with Difficult People article. But right now, it's important to know that when you have someone who cannot say no to others, you've picked the Overextender card in dealing with difficult people at work.