Counselling - The Pain Of Being With A One Dimensional Male

Counselling - The Pain Of Being With A One Dimensional Male

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A real problem for many men in today's society is the inability to adjust their competitive workplace behaviour to one that is more conducive to building a strong bond with their girlfriend or wife. Women want a broader expression of their husband's personality than what he may have been conditioned to behave like at his place of employment. Many of these skills that serve him well while at work, can cause tremendous friction in the home.

During the formative years, male talk is devoid of the subjects of raising children and marriage relationships. The adult male mould is still almost exclusively fashioned around a job or career. There is some real merit to this focus. If a couple has children, women are much more likely to be the ones who stay home with them. The man then becomes the primary bread winner.

It's not difficult to see how this narrow focus can make a man rather one dimensional. The complexities of a marriage relationship require more than a hope and a prayer. Raising children is also not without it's many challenges.

Once firmly established in the workforce, men are further conditioned in ways that are often destructive to a happy marriage. The marketplace is competitive. A competitive spirit is often necessary to do well. This is not applicable in a couple's home. Competition kills efforts to build a harmonious home.

The men that are one dimensional, find themselves competing with their wives. It's us versus them. Winning becomes all that matters. They tell their wives that certain feelings are wrong. Some operate out of the belief that time is money, whether at home or work. They try to violate the relationship principle that fast is slow, and slow is actually fast.

They believe that they can't afford to show weakness at work. It may result in someone else getting the promotion they want. They bring this same coping behaviour into their marriage and parenting. This lack of transparency in the home is epidemic with married men. Millions of women find themselves legally married yet emotionally divorced.

Efforts need to be taken to break this destructive cycle. New skills are necessary for both the marriage and parenting. If not, the one dimensional male will dive even deeper into his work. He wants to feel good. He knows how to succeed at work, so he does more of what feels good. It takes real courage to admit the problem and take corrective action.

Being only a good provider is not enough anymore. Being a good spouse requires an expanded base of knowledge for men. This does not require becoming more feminine, just more human. Emotions are not the sole property of women. All feelings are in fact neutral.

About the Author:
Chris Keenan is the founder of http://www.easyrelationshiphelp.com and is regularly interviewed on radio. Get your free copy of "How to Prevent Your Relationship From Losing Value" if you'd like to learn more about how to effectively communicate with the opposite sex. To get your copy from the leaders in low cost - risk free relationship help, go to http://www.easyrelationshiphelp.com



Article Originally Published On: http://www.articlesnatch.com


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