Could He Be A Liar

In many cases when one suspects their partner of keeping something from them it is best not to make any assumptions. Even if your instincts turn out to be correct the secret he's keeping might not be about your relationship, but simply something he isn't ready to share. While you certainly may feel like something like this may cause boyfriend problems it doesn't have to drive you insane.

When a secret is kept in a relationship, however new most partners tend to jump to the conclusion of cheating boyfriends rather than taking the time to observe and look for real infidelity signs. Naturally there are many reasons why someone might want to keep something and in some cases it might not be something you need to know, but in order to maintain trust in a relationship you will need to feel more secure.

Step One: Communication

If at all possible the very first thing you should do is talk to your fella. This will give him the opportunity to let you in on what's been going on without your having to resort to sneaky tactics. Though he may tell you that he can't reveal what he's been hiding, at least he can confirm that it's nothing that might damage your relationship.

Another possibility is that he will tell you that you are jumping to conclusions about cheating men and may even get offended. This is a tricky reaction to watch for as his outrage may or may not be genuine.

On one hand he may feel hurt that you would ever suspect him of keeping something from you that you should know; on the other he may be over compensating simply because you found him out. Learning how to tell if someone is lying, especially someone so close to you might be reasonable, but obviously if he's mastered the art you might never know it.

If, once asked your boyfriend reacts with any sort of humor or laughing, this could be a wonderful sign. In many cases men who have jealous or suspicious girlfriends, or wives, are often flattered by the idea and find it silly that their partners should worry so. Just remember that a little jealousy goes a long way, so keep those jealous fits to a minimum or he may just stop laughing altogether.

Yet another possibility, possibly the worst, is that he admits to keeping a secret which is devastating to your relationship and you are forced to decide whether or not breaking it up is the only logical move. Though this may be one of the most painful and terrifying moments of your romantic life, it is better that you know the facts. By discovering the truth you can make the changes that are necessary for you to begin finding true love with someone who would never betray you, or by getting to the root of the problems in your current relationship.

Step Two: Discovery

One of the reasons so many refuse to come out and ask their partners is because they assume that they will lie. Rather than depending upon the word of someone you already feel you can't trust you may simply need to gather more proof. Obviously, this can be difficult.

Checking up on his emails, phone messages or even tracking his whereabouts isn't too difficult in this day and age, but it does require crossing a line that some just aren't willing to cross. Inquiring about where he might have spent his time if he is absent at odd intervals is an open and honest approach that many others feel more comfortable. Though this method is not as exacting as rummaging through his private emails, it can be very effective. Most cheaters trying to cover their tracks have flimsy alibis that you can watch for or even check up on.

Another option that is not quite as devious as tossing his privacy might be to ask a close friend of his, though this will put the friend in a rather poor situation. A great way to go about this is to ask the friend simply whether or not you have reason to be concerned. By not inquiring about specifics you can confirm whether or not your suspicions have root and proceed with questioning the suspicious male in your life, or choosing to dig through his things.

You may even learn that what he's been keeping isn't anything for you to worry about, just be sure that you can trust that the friend would let you know the truth.

For those who have tried less invasive methods and still feel that they are being deceived, but do not want to be forced to disrespect privacy, it may be helpful simply to ask for permission to look over your guy's private things. Obviously this should be a spur of the moment or you will suspect him of hiding things, but with his permission and perhaps even help he may not feel so violated and might even understand your jealousy.

Step Three: Decisions

Hopefully by now your suspicions have either abated or have been proven false and you can continue on with your life. It important to note that this kind of jealousy or paranoid behavior can be very destructive and may even be the cause of ending a relationship if this type of behavior continues without prompting.

Another side to consider is that even if proven groundless should you continue to be made to feel as though you should be suspicious something may be very wrong in your relationship. No one should have to feel a sense of mistrust with their partner and it might be time to take a good hard look at what is causing these feelings.

If the worst turns out to be true and your boyfriend, or husband has been unfaithful, you will need to carefully think over your next course of action. Though this will most likely prove to be difficult, you must consider what is best for you. This will require some real introspection and though you may need the advice of trusted friends, only you can know what is best for your life.

Do keep in mind that though it may take time there may exist a new relationship in your future that would allow you to feel secure and without these doubtful feelings. Whether that relationship is with your current partner after some time and healing, or someone completely new, as long as you take the appropriate steps to change your situation you can be happy in love.