"Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much" ~ John Wayne
"Never say sorry - it's a sign of weakness" ~ John Wayne
"First you get the money, then the power and then you get the women"~ Al Pacino
"They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning." ~ Clint Eastwood
"On one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars. ~ Bruce Willis
Communication? What about these guys? They don't need to talk. They kick ass and chicks dig them. Guys like Vin Diesel, Bruce Willis, Al Pacino, and are role models for us guys. Don't tell me you aren't attracted to a guy with some testosterone. We have been raised to look up to these guys. They're cool. We like watching their movies. We think, 'Why can't I be like that guy with the jerk in my life?' We understand the meaning of, "Well, punk do you feel lucky, well do ya?" (I have to get that on a bumper sticker)
We men have a bit of a battle when it comes to communication. It isn't always natural and we could be out gunned with your lightning fast thoughts and words. Especially when you are upset. You can even use our own words against us. How do you do that?
Ladies, you have a job ahead of you if you think we are just going to become a sensitive, touchy feely guy that you can discuss all your problems with. Communication is foreign territory. It is behind enemy lines. Few men will go in to save us if an angry woman attacks us. We are not trained for that. One mistake in the arena of conversation can be lethal to our egos and sex life, and we know it. We can't all communicate like Dr. Phil. Besides what straight guy wants to be a Dr. Phil anyway? (No pun intended).
Life Lesson:
Tip #1. Unless you just want to run and hide from your partner, then you probably want to have a conversation with him. I believe most guys want to connect to his girl that way too. I mean we can't just keep saying, "Here's looking at you kid" all day long. That gets boring. So we have to...(gulp) open up.
In conversation, you have the bigger gun. We cannot out shoot your mouth on our best day. You need to teach us. More important you can't let us know you are teaching us. It's against the man code. Try not to complain about us not saying what you want to hear exactly the way you want to hear it. Quit reading into stuff. Like, we have some kind of hidden meaning in what we say and what we mean. We are pretty basic and run on testosterone. By the way, there is not one brain cell in testosterone.
Tip #2. Be patient with us. Please. Even the most macho alpha males need to feel like you are still going to be there when we screw up. There is an old Chinese saying that says "Don't use an ax to remove a fly from your friend's forehead". Both men and women can overreact to little stuff. If we men feel threatened by an articulate woman, we have a tendency to bring out the big guns. We will resort to name calling and whatever it takes to get that woman off the offensive. Many of us do not know how much damage we cause with just a few careless words. Sometimes we might not say anything or say something wrong. Don't get all upset, storm out the door, and then tell everyone you know how much of a jerk I was. That kind of stuff kicks my butt. I will want to avoid you and any other heated subjects in the future. I will just want to hang out with my friends more, go fishing all day, watch more sports, drink, whatever. I just want to make sure I don't get my ass whipped in the ring of conversation again. In my day, it was a shame to get beat up by a girl. Plus, words can sting for a very long time.
Tip #3. I'm going to break the man code a little here. But this works if you want to earn big points with your male partner, dad, son, or brother. Here it is: Learn the damn game of football. Years ago when my daughters were growing up I believed this philosophy would work for them and it does. Their partners and male friends appreciate that. They can respect that they know what the heck is going on down on that gridiron (that means football field in alpha male language). I knew that if they didn't learn football they would be sitting on the bench watching their guy play around all season, and not with them. Some women get that and it works for them. I have never met a guy who doesn't appreciate a woman who knows something about that sport. Besides it's kind of sexy; especially if you are interested and have a favorite team. Heck, pick a team that your partner hates just to bug him. Men bond to others who can sit down, yell, and throw things at the TV during a good football game. Why not be included in the party? It's better than spending 5 months of the year sitting by your self in some coffee shop. You don't even have to watch the whole game. The fact is football is sacred ground for many American men. You can ask questions, cheer, eat chips and guys will love you for it.
Tip #4. This last point is important. Give your guy plenty of chances, be patient, and forgive but keep your guard up. Keep it up till you know for sure he a good-hearted guy under all the clutter. Some guys act like jerks but some guys are real jerks. You need to know the difference. If he disrespects you, your family, or friends it is time to move on. Do not put up with a guy who is constantly picking a fight with you. Get rid of him if he is constantly taking aim to shoot you down and hurt your heart. There is a serious problem. "Hasta la Vista baby!
