Christian Marriage Counseling: Increasing Intimacy In Marriage.

How to Have a Successful Marriage: Characteristics to show you the RIGHT way to get rid of your marriage problems and find the results and solutions you want, Pt 11 - Teammates

We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. James 3:2

This ties the last concept of self-responsibility to the next one I want to share with you: choosing to view one another as equal teammates on the same team. What this means to you is you make the choice to view one another as equal contributors to the problems and solutions in your marriage. You're now co-contributors in the search for creative solutions. Neither of you has more valid input than the other. Both of your suggestions is equally valuable and potentially a piece of the solution.

This goes for the problems in your marriage as well - you're co-contributors. Problems don't occur in a vaccuum. Neither are they the result of just one person. When you choose to accept equal responsibility you choose to recognize you're both teammates and the team only does well when both teammates does well. One when of you suffers the whole team suffers. Picture any problem in your marriage. Can you HONESTLY say you have no part in it? There's nothing you couldn't have done or said different which may have produced a different outcome? You couldn't have asked more or better questions? You couldn't have been more vocal? More sensitive? More attentive? More proactive? Less angry? More forgiving?

As Scripture says, we're all parts of the same body; no one part is any more important than the other. All are useful and needed in the functioning in the body. This is spoken of the church...which is made up of people. This doesn't just apply to the actual church you may go to. This applies to your family as well...or do you think it's merely a building or organization Jesus cares about?

Think of it this way. You may not be too familiar with football but I think you know enough to know there's a bunch of people on the team, and each person on the team has a role to play and responsibility to do their job to the best of their ability. When a team wins or loses, most people attribute it to the wide receiver, the coach, the quarterback, the defense as a whole or to the offense as a whole. Can that really be true? The quarterback won or lost the game all by himself? You mean to tell me the 'defense' would have won the game if there was no offense? What about the kicker? Didn't he show up that day? Didn't he do his part? You may not see him on SportsCenter, but if he didn't do his part there could have been a different outcome. What about the guy who gives the quarterback the football? What if he kept dropping the ball and the other team kept picking it up...there would be a different outcome then, right.

In our culture, we're so quick to assign blame, fault, responsibility or glory to someone we ignore and forget the part each of us plays. Assuming you've read my special report, The Top 10 Ways You're Unconsciously Sabotaging Your Marriage, you know there are tons of ways we unconsciously make mistakes in our marriage relationship...we just don't see it. You also know after reading that special report, we all make mistakes, we all have 'weak points' - areas of improvement. How do I know this? It goes back to James 3:2, "For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, & able also to bridle the whole body."

Did you catch that? In many ways we offend...

Who's doing the offending? Me. You. Everyone. In which ways do we offend? Every way! Choosing to view your husband or wife as your teammate is nothing less than acknowledging what's already in Scripture. We're in the same boat. When you choose to recognize your part in responsibility and you choose to come along your spouse as a teammate you will go a long way in eliminating arguments...significantly decreasing anger...getting rid of bitterness & resentment...significantly reducing "problems" because you will become to come together as teammates actively looking for solutions as co-creators.

This is a simple concept. Far more simple than any other strategy I've shared with you so far as to how to significantly increase the love, passion, happiness, peace & fulfillment in your life and marriage. It does require one thing...humility & submissiveness. OK, so there's two things (but you don't have one without the other :D ) Is this not actively being the Body of Christ? Is this not love in action? Is this nothing more than the sacrificial love Jesus speaks of, demonstrates...and commands we do with each other? Yes, this is nothing more.

P.S.: If this article was helpful to you, encouraged or supported you, or if you learned something new or were reminded of something you needed to be reminded of - let me know! I'd love to hear from you!! Email me. Also, if you think it would benefit someone you care about, please do them a favor and "pass it on