Chinese Social Habits - Study Chinese In Beijing

Chinese society today is the result of over 5,000 years of cultural development. For those who have just begun their study Chinese in Beijing adventure, many elements of society will not only seem completely foreign, but also shockingly surprising and difficult to understand.
Two elements equally important within ancient Chinese society as it is today are guanxi or "relationship"and Keqi "manners."

Guanxi or "Relationships"
Guanxi or "relationships" basically stands for how much "pull" or "influence" you have in society. To help study Chinese in Beijing students understand it better, it may first help to understand it origins.

About 2,500 years ago Confucius preached a system of morals and ethics designed to bring order to the then rather chaotic times. These rules have stuck around and have come a long way in defining guanxi. Basically, Confucius broke it down into five key relationships: ruler-subject, father-son, friend-friend, husband-wife and brother-sister. These relationships represent the core of society and offers some insight as to who gets top say. Eventually over time this system of "say" eventually lead to a spin-off of "it's not who you are, but who you know."Connections become one of the most important elements of social success within the nation.

Kq or "Manners"
Another important area of Chinese society which study Chinese in Beijing students should take note of is Keqi. Within the western mind, we have come accustomed to saying "thank you." If you dont hear a thank you then you immediate believe someone is acting rude. "Thank you" for giving my change back; "thank you" for giving me the bill; "thank you" for giving me service; "thank you" for getting in contact with me; etc, etc. In China this is completely different. As a study Chinese in Beijing student, if you thank the waitress she would initially find it strange that you thank her for something that is a part of here duty or job. Furthermore, to show too many manners is seen as a form of social distance and for this reason it can even be interrupted as being rude. The basic principle behind this is you would not be so polite to a friend, so why act "fake" and be so polite to me?


As such, us foreigners tend to hear the phrase "b Kq" quite a lot. This is the appropriate response to "xi xie/thank you" but does not quite mean "you're welcome." Rather it translates more like "no need to be so polite."

Generally speaking Chinese people strive for modesty. And although when you study Chinese in Beijing you will come across a few that like to brag, more often than not Chinese people are very down to earth and friendly. So when you plan to visit China and take on a Mandarin language course, prepare yourself to meet some good people. Equally important, prepare yourself to come across cultural differences, and try to stop being polite because society has taught you to. Be polite when you really mean it.