Bipolar Disorder And The Holidays

Holidays can be difficult times for families and individuals who are challenged with bipolar disorder. While holidays are times of celebration and reflection, they also carry expectationsboth our own and those of others.

One of the most useful recovery skills is to make sure that our expectations support our efforts toward seeking mental wellness, in the context of experiencing bipolar disorder.
Culturally our society demands that we be happy during this time of year. And the opposite is also true. The happiness expectation can flame mania into a bonfire of endless parties and shopping sprees.

Social demands of the holiday season provide ample opportunities to break the habits of consistency that we have worked on in order to stabilize our mood and sleep patterns. Late night parties, and the availability of substances of abuse, including alcohol, can become a minefield. Furthermore, the holiday season is a time when it is easy to compare our situation to previous holidays when we were feeling better.

Worse yet, the disruption of health routines may increase the temptation to stop taking medications so we can be normal. Therapy insights and recovery skills may be neglected as well.

Taking some time to plan our expectations and activities during the holiday season can help us celebrate well. Planning helps us enjoy the season without being derailed from taking care of our mental health.

Here are some suggestions:
Choose for yourself the focus of your holidays. You may prefer not to celebrate at all, or you may focus on the faith expressed in seasonal activities. However you wish to celebrate, plan your holidays. Review your own expectations of the season so you will not be pulled into the expectations of others.

Once you have chosen your focus, ask yourself what activities will be appropriate for you holiday season. Accepting a party invitation may not help you keep your mood stable. But if you do not receive invitations, you may want to plan healthy activities that you can do alone or with a smaller group. This will help keep you from feeling left out and alone when others are seemingly happy in their active social lives.

Decide ahead of time the limits you would like to set. The hyper-stimulation of a family gathering may be overwhelming in both depression and mania, or it may trigger symptoms even when your mood is stable. Plan your arrival and departure to make your length of stay appropriate for how you are feeling. Have an exit plan to step out for a walk or find a quiet room to get away from the fray in case things become stressful. If you chose not to attend, send a written greeting to those present. Or help the host a few days before the gathering and ask that your greetings be shared even though you will not be attending.

Include in your plan a listing of the things you need to do to take care of your mental health. These may include allowing time for sleep, continuing in treatment, talking to a friend when you are challenged by mood changes, and avoiding substances. Also make a list of the things that may pull you away from your plan and what you will do to stay on track. For instance, if spending sprees have been a vital part of your holiday seasons in the past, you may want to plan your gift giving more carefully. Choose to shop at smaller, quieter stores where the message to buy is not accompanied by the hyper-stimulation of crowds, music, noise and brightly colored, blinking lights.

If you anticipate the holidays will be difficult, plan a special activity after the holidays to look forward to. It may be a special treat or an outing with a friend.. Doing this will help mitigate any difficulties you experience during the holiday season. It will give you a chance to celebrate during the time that many experience a post-holiday let-down.

During the holidays, you may be faced with expectations from others that you explain your activities and accomplishments of the past year. A friend or relative who hasn't seen you since your diagnosis may ask questions that make you uncomfortable, especially if you have had to interrupt your schooling or work, or if you have been hospitalized.
The opposite can also happen. A friend or relative may be surprised that you have made so much progress in managing bipolar disorder, and may have lowered expectations of you.

In either case, plan ahead what you want to tell others. Practice in advance how you will answer questions about your activities. You need only share what you choose.

Here are some examples:
Instead of saying you spent six weeks in the hospital, you can say you have taken a break to work on some personal issues.

When asked how college is going when you have had to stay home during the past semester, remind your relative that many students take a break from college to work or travel or to consider their choice of career.

A friend who knows of your diagnosis may express surprise that you are looking so good compared to last holiday season. Answer this way: you have worked hard to manage bipolar disorder. It is fortunately highly treatable with a high rate of recovery for those who stay in treatment and utilize recovery skills.

Have a healthy holiday season by seeking mental wellness!