Beware The Mindset It Might Be Keeping You Stuck!

No matter what personal or professional development you do there is one essential element that can keep you stuck - your mindset. You know, that little voice inside you that keeps telling you stories that keep you stuck in old patterns and non-action, sometimes for years.

That voice will stop success in its tracks.

The danger lies when you instead of recognising those words as a story developed over time you believe them as truth.

Statements that begin with "I can't...", "I am no good at...", "Everyone else can...", "I should...", "I shouldn't....", "I have to...." can stop your growth instantly and are usually not as true as you think. And, bizarrely, as you initially expand and grow more limiting thoughts will emerge.

The process of breaking out of our comfort zone often requires a bit of discomfort - and the old mental processes can make quite a story out of that pain. You can be your own life coach by identifying and letting let go of the stories so you can move forward successfully. The more you challenge the truth of them the quicker the fiction is recognised. Is it really true that you HAVE to do that? I'll bet the 'have' is just a fear of something; maybe others disliking you, thinking less of you, that you are not living up to expectations others have of you.... and so it goes.... we build up the mental boundaries of our comfort zone.

One way to watch your thoughts and recognise the limiting ones is to consider the emotion that underlies them.

In many spiritual traditions it is said that all our actions are the result of either love or fear.

Experiment : Think about any action that you have taken recently. If you allow yourself to go to the deepest level only one of these two reside. It is easy to see when love is organising our lives, everything feels smooth and flows. We feel expansive and open. The world looks a friendly and loving space.

But fear is more difficult. It is fashionable to challenge ourselves with extreme sports and 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. Often we relish that fantastic feeling of fear and then the exhilaration of overcoming that fear. However we often do not recognise the true sense of fear when it is at home because it often masquerades as other difficult (but more easily expressed) emotions such as anger or frustration.

For example consider the last time you felt angry or frustrated, perhaps in a traffic jam. What thoughts made you feel angry or frustrated? Were you concerned (fearful) that you might be late? Did you feel angry about the waste of time (afraid that there is would not be enough)? Did you feel annoyed that no one was moving (that trapped feeling makes many people feel a little anxious)? Did you feel relieved as you crawled past the accident that it was not you (afraid that it could have been)? Or maybe you were just irritated about the situation that stopped the traffic (loss of control often leads us to feel scared). Notice how contracted you feel as you think these thoughts.

But have you ever been stuck in a traffic jam and just felt chilled, enjoying your music or having a great chat with your travelling companion (in love with the moment)? Even if you have never experienced this imagine how that could feel... not worried about the time.... allowing it all to unfold as it does... just enjoying the moment. Can you feel the expansiveness of that?

Love expands while fear contracts. Unexamined mindsets, limiting behaviour and lack of clarity are the source of great fear and cause contraction in our work and our life. It is vitally important to examine them and clear them to create a more loving, more successful and ultimately more peaceful life.

When you are feeling contracted be aware that your body is telling you that fear is about. Breathe deeply and feel into your body. Regardless of whether it is at work or home, you can spend a moment or two breathing into that contracted feeling, melting into the moment before you take your next step. By doing so you allow space for the story to emerge, and once you can hear that you can start to change it.

By feeling into your body you start to recognise how present - or not you are. Eckhart Tolle, the author of the Power of Now, says that even just realising that you are not in the moment helps you to get into the moment. Challenge yourself to recognise that nothing really matters that much - often at those moments of contraction there is actually nothing you can do aside from breathing. And just that small action can open us to feeling more expansive and in the moment.

If you are in Brisbane and having trouble shifting past the stories my blend of coaching and kinesiology will help. If you haven't done so you can check out my services page for more information. http://gaylandeta.com.au/services-and-programs or feel free to contact me on 07 3255 0099 or email me at create@gaylandeta.com.au.