Be The Type Of Person You Want To Be

Before you can set goals and make plans to achieve them, you need to really understand;

1. Who you are now?
2. Who do you want to be?
3. What do you want from life and what are you willing to do to get it?

Success comes from being able to answer these questions at the beginning of the journey. Here are some coaching tips for you to start the process of becoming the Type of Person You Want to Be.

Use this list words.

FriendlyAlways busyShyGenerous
ControllingLoudCalmForgiving
SimpleEducatedAngryAggressive
ProfessionalAfraid SmartLeader
QuietMishandle money AverageGood looking
Good with money UglyHomely Self-supporting
RichPoorMysteriousPeaceful
HealthyAwareSmartassPatient
HardworkingLazyMediocreLaidback
DoerActiveThinkerPassionate
RespectfulHelpfulKindRude
SupportiveMatureKidderChildlike
SpiritualImmatureIndependentChildish
WiseConfidentPersistentPushy
ExcelFailureAveragePleasant
RestfulPerfectionistProcrastinatorSloppy
NeatDirtyHappyUnhappy
GratefulNeedyDependent Thoughtful
RomanticHumorousSeriousForgetful
ThoughtlessStableSelf-consciousOrganized
ImpoliteRoughSmoothRisk taker
UnorganizedPoliteSensitiveObtuse
HonorableNervousApatheticUncaring
CaringObnoxiousTroubleTroubled
StrongMoralEthicalHumble
FunnyFollowerMeanTeacher
ImmoralUnethicalGentleProsperous
SeriousExpressiveSexyIncredible
ResponsibleCreativePlayfulKnowledgeable
LivelyFlakyHonestLiar
FearfulBraveResourcefulBalanced
DomineeringArtisticEnergeticValuable
FormalSnobRelaxedSophisticated
SkinnyFatTiringMessy
TalkerListenerWastefulReactive
ProactiveAchieverLostPioneer

1. Check the words you think describe you. Have a close friend or family member check the words that they think describe you too. Do this separately and see how they compare. Do not get up-set. If there are differences, note these down and explore ways to understand examples of these differences.

2. Circle the words that you want to demonstrate more in your life. Did you add a lot that you didn't already have in #1? Why? Look at your #1 words and #2 words - are there conflicts?

3. Put all of the words together that you want to describe you in the future. Then put them in order of priority.

4. Choose the top 3 words - these will be your first goals for yourself.

To set goals: for each word, state what you want to see happen. Example: I will demonstrate that I am a more polite person.

Objectives are how you are going to reach your goal, what steps are you going to take, what obstacles you have to overcome and how you will do that. You must also have a way that you will measure your progress.

Objective Example: Objective 1 - I will demonstrate being more polite by not interrupting people when they are talking, 50% of the time. (Make the objective doable but not easy. If you are the type of person who constantly interrupts others, then decreasing that by 50% is a good hard objective.) If you wanted, you could even refine this by stating that you would not interrupt your wife, 50% of the time.

Now you need to look at the obstacles that are in your way to accomplishing this objective and the steps you will take to remove or get around the obstacles. Be creative, figure out what will work for you. If you try something and it doesn't work, try a different approach. Keep a notebook of your goals, objectives, obstacles and steps and include a way to track how you are progressing on each.

Example of obstacles: I interrupt because I am afraid I will lose my thought. Solution steps: write down what you want to say or record it or work on increasing my memory or try to find a polite way to interrupt in an appropriate spot and in an appropriate place within the time you can remember and then try to decrease the need to do this.

Another obstacle may be: I interrupt because I want people to notice me and think I am smart. Solution steps: practice self-talk that you are smart, work on increasing your self-esteem and self-confidence (figure out ways that you will do that), make sure I think things through before I interrupt and use good language and my comments fit the conversation. This will make people look at you differently and more willing to listen to you. Some other tools you could use in this type of situation to improve not interrupting are: chewing gum, practice good listening skills, and many others - create what will work for you.

5. Over time you will see major changes in yourself, how much progress you are making and even how other's behave around you. Every 6 months, start from #1 and so forth and you will see that you have made progress. If you achieve a goal or objective - write a new one. As you continue, the process of stating goals and objectives will get easier and you will truly be on the way to becoming Who You Want to Be.

6. Sidetrackers: Don't be surprised that as you change, it may create some conflict with your friends, family and special someone if they're not totally on board and supporting you. Expect these to happen because you are changing and they may not be, thus the relationship changes. As you make changes and have successes, try to get those involved in creating their own goals and objectives. It takes setting goals and objectives, in writing, to be more likely to achieve them. Try using a vision board too for a visual cue; this can be changed frequently to match your growth. Realize too that you may 'outgrow' some of your family, friends and special someone. You are on a journey for you to achieve more in your life.

7. Other uses: You can use the word list of traits you admire and find people who have them and 'hang around' them in some way. You can use the list of words to build a list of traits you want your friends or special someone to have. "Birds of a feather" do flock together. You can use the list of words to help choose the kind of place to work, job or school to attend that demonstrates those words important to you. Even volunteering in places that demonstrate or have other volunteers who have the traits you want in yourself, will speed your way toward achieving just that.
The process of self-change, setting goals and objects and diligently going through the process is hard. You have to be willing to really look at yourself emotionally, physically, what you do to yourself and to others and try to define what the 'new' you will be like. Don't be surprised that once you start your journey, your ideas or views of what the 'new' you will be like changes some as you are not only progressing towards your goals, but you are growing as a person.
As difficult as the journey will be, it will definitely give you many successes and impact your life in positive ways, especially in the long-term.