Basic Concept Of Non Violent Communication

Non Violent Communication (NVC) was founded by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg in the year 1960. It is based on the basic truth and theory of nonviolence. Nonviolence is the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. It is a specific methodology of speaking and listening that leads to give from the heart, connecting us with ourselves with others in a manner that allows our natural compassion to flourish.

In all aspects around the world, non violent communication is used by people in many situations including places of work, schools, and prisons and in personal relationships, among others.

Parenting is just one application of NVC.

As parents, we have deep needs for our children"s well being, safety and growth. We long for ease, contribution and effectiveness in our parenting. We want a relationship with our children that satisfy these needs as well as our needs for communication, intimacy, understanding, respect and connection. We dream of relationships that satisfy our children"s needs for choice, spontaneity, joy and self-expression.

NVC can help parents understand their children"s behavior, treat and communicate to children with compassion. It Help parents to bridge the gap and connect with their children. It also supports parents who are struggling with anger or ongoing frustration in relation to their children and maintain connection with children even when flooded with emotions.

Here are Basic Concepts and Components of Nonviolent according to

Observations vs. Judgments

Judgment is often based in incomplete information and is prone to bias and influence by emotion. While judgment can be influenced by emotion, it is still a thought form and can be difficult to change. Judgment can be very damaging Observation, on the other hand is open to change and evolution and decisions that may be made on the basis of observation may change from day to day, month to month, year to year.

Feelings vs. Thoughts

Thinking and feeling lie at opposite. People are capable of either thinking or feeling, but usually not at the same time. Many people tend to confuse the two processes.

Thoughts are opinions of what we perceive or experience. They act as explanations to help us understand our world. Not understanding what is happening around us leaves us feeling helpless, vulnerable and frustrated, which we find unpleasant. Understanding gives us a sense of competence or mastery that is comforting. Emotions happen in response to thoughts or perceptions. Communicating with loved ones works better when feelings are dominant.

Needs vs. Strategies

A strategy is an action or words used to meet a need. For example, someone may drink alcohol (a strategy) as a way to meet a need for relief from feeling overwhelmed. We may relate to the need but have concern over the way they try to meet it.

The difference between needs and strategies is a critical distinction. If you don"t understand the difference, you will most likely confuse understanding a person"s needs""which is vital""with condoning the strategy they use to meet their needs. Another important reason to make this distinction is that if you understand the needs someone is trying to meet, separate from the strategies used to meet them, you can assess whether that strategy is actually meeting those needs or not.

Requests vs. Demands

Request- this is what I want of you, and my own well-being and my care, respect and love for your is neither diminished nor enhanced by your response to my request.

Demand- here is what I want from you or else! The "else" could range from playing the victim: "I am hurt and you are responsible" to playing the persecutor: "How dare you!" This, more often than not, leads to manipulating, arguing, and to fighting and/or walking away.

Demands are at the root of violent communication. Requests, as described above, contribute to peaceful and loving communications and, consequently, smooth relationships.

Empathy vs. Sympathy

Sympathy essentially implies a feeling of recognition of another's suffering while empathy is actually sharing another's suffering, if only briefly. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes". Empathy develops into an unspoken understanding and mutual decision making that is unquestioned, and forms the basis of tribal community. Sympathy may be positive or negative, in the sense that it attracts a perceived quality to a perceived self identity, or it gives love and assistance to the unfortunate and needy.