Ask For Referrals At The Right Time By Bill Cates, Csp,

Do you ask a new prospect for a referral on the first appointment? Do you
wait until the second appointment? Do you wait a year into the
relationship? The answer is, "It depends." There are at least two things to
consider when determining when to ask: First, value must be given and value
must be recognized. Second, you must consider the personality of the
referral-giving candidate.

Not too long ago I had an insurance agent set up an appointment with me. As
we were about to hang-up, he mentioned that he built his practice from
referrals and that at the end of our first meeting he’ll be asking me for
referrals, “So perhaps I could be thinking of some folks.” Was I ready
for this aggressive approach? No! This is “old style” referral selling,
and it creates more bad will than good referrals. Oh, I might give him a
referral or two, but not very good ones. Two things must happen before a
prospect or client is ready to trust you with their friends and colleagues
(emphasis on trust).

Value Must be Given and Value Must be Recognized
Sometimes it's easy to know this has occurred, because your prospects or
clients will tell you. For instance, in the financial services world, an
advisor might hear, "This has been a very helpful meeting," or "I'm glad I
finally started working on this," or "Should have done this 20 years ago."
That’s it! Value recognized. Now it’s time to ask for referrals - but
not before.
What do your prospects or clients/customers say to you that make you realize
they are finding value from your products, service, or working relationship?
After someone says, “This has been great. You have done a great job for
us,” all you have to say is, “That’s great. I’m glad you’re
pleased. I was wondering if we could brainstorm for a minutes to see if we
can identify some people (or businesses) who should know about the great work
we do. Who else might we help together?” (Notice I made this a WE process
and not a ME process). Now you go about the business of brainstorming
(interacting) about who you can serve together (more on this brainstorming
concept in future articles).
Can you provide referral-giving value on the first appointment with a
prospect? Absolutely! In fact, I hope you do. Don’t be there to sell, just
be there to educate, ask good questions, and find out what their needs,
values, and concerns are. You’ll earn their trust as you learn their
story. Then, it will be time to tell your story, and move on toward the
sale.

Not Sure if Value Has Been Recognized Yet?
Then ask value-seeking questions. In fact, I strongly suggest that
near the end of your first appointment (with about ten minutes left to go)
you ask your prospect, “Bob, of all the things we talked about today, what
do you find most important.” Or you could say, “We’ve been through a
process over the last two meetings. What’s been the most valuable part of
that process?” In most cases, it will yield a conversation that
demonstrates to both of you that value has been given and recognized.
Of course, you will have to modify this conversation to fit your
specific business. On occasion you’ll hear something like, “I’m not
sure what the value is yet.” Wouldn’t you rather know this before the
end of the appointment, so you can address it right at that moment?

Open Versus Guarded
This is one measure of personality we need to consider when asking for
referrals. Open people are much more willing to let you into their lives
through the referral process than guarded people. Therefore, you can (and
should) ask open people sooner into the relationship. Guarded people can be
great sources of referrals, they just need a little more time to trust you.
Plus, they like to be in more control of the process than the open types.
Ask value-seeking questions. If value has been delivered and recognized, and
you feel the referral candidate likes you and trusts you - it's time to ask
for referrals. The worst thing they can say is, “No.” (I’ll teach you
how to turn that around in future articles.)

Bottom line, when your prospect or client lets you know that value has been
received, it’s time to ask for permission to engage in the referral process
– not just to help YOU, but to see who you can help together – a WE
process instead of a ME process.