America Verses Bear And Pizza

By:


Close your eyes and imagine yourself in the center of a football field, the field of America's favorite pastime. This is where dreams come true, where history is made, and it is also approximately 53 hundred square yards.

Now that you have a pretty good picture of one football field, times that by a hundred. The incomprehensible image that you are struggling to imagine is actually the exact amount of pizza that is consumed on a daily basis by you Americans.

A good job is in order here, not every country can eat one hundred football fields of pizza and still maintain the world's most powerful army. But, because you lack the mental capacity to actually imagine how much pizza that really is, it is precisely 350 slices being eaten for every single second of the day.

There you go, a little more daunting now huh? Good, yes that is an incredible feat, even for an entire country.

Americans are some strong eaters, consuming the second largest amount of calories on average out of every other nationality. Are you surprised that America only gets a silver medal here?

You are forgetting to take into account the lumbering drunks in Ireland. These bumbling laggards do nothing but drink and eat all day, occasionally tossing in a few drunken bar brawls.

But when you are counting calories of consumption you have to take into account that beer has a lot of calories, especially the good kind of beer that those ungainly Irish produce. Presumably what they drink is something close to a syrup distilled from hops and then fermented for a little bit too long.

Now if some Irish booze and an acre of pizza don't sound like the greatest thing all you got to do is throw in some football on a big screen, and perhaps later when the game starts to slow down a bar fight could occur just for the fun of it. That has got to be the American dream right there, and if it is not you had better start rethinking your dreams.

Seriously folks, is that the American dream? Because if that is what everyone is working toward then it is no wonder why America has the leading amount of diabetes and cardiorespiratory disease.

Sorry you just got chap-slapped by some truth, but you know if you expect your heart to last beyond the age of 33 you have to stop drinking and getting in bar fights over whether or not Tebow is the greatest. Keep up with that lifestyle and your heart is going to pop like a crushed and fermented hop.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but somebody has got to do it.


About the Author:
Destry Masterson is a health and nutrition expert. She publishes articles about health, nutrition, and Food Insurance Food Storage.

Contact Info:
Destry Masterson - MyOnlineArticleWriting@gmail.com - Twitter: @DestryMasterson



Article Originally Published On: http://www.articlesnatch.com


|

Loading...
Related....
Videos...

Recent UnCategorized Articles

Comments

Still can't find what you are looking for? Search for it!

Loading

Copyright 2005-2011 ArticleSnatch, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service.