Aging: Infidelity In Older Couples

Infidelity is one of the most painful things that can happen to a relationship. One of the partners feels betrayed, while the other feels terrible guilt and conflict, particularly if he/she still has feelings for the person on whom he/she is cheating. (It may seem odd, but one person can cheat on his/her partner, while still feeling some love and affection for him/her.)

Whenever the word "cheating" is mentioned, people tend to think of a man cheating on his partner with a younger woman. (This is probably the reason so many people were shocked that Prince Charles cheated on Princess/Lady Diana with Camilla Parker-Bowles, now Princess Consort. This particular instance of infidelity simply did not fit people's preconceived notions, since Diana seemed much prettier and more glamorous than her rival.)

Still, it is all too often true that staying youthful over a long-term relationship can help deter a partner's roving eye. However, looking and feeling young also has an impact on how you view your relationship, and yourself. Having greater confidence in yourself can help you approach your relationship with greater sense of sensitivity, generosity, and (most importantly) fun. By contrast, constant paranoia on your part might actually encourage problems.

Actually, it must also be remembered that youthfulness is not just about looking young. It also involves staying healthy. It is this second aspect of youthfulness that can impact your relationship, no matter whether or not your partner has a person "on the side." The energy to do things and spend time with your partner is becoming a scarce and valuable resource, particularly given the stress and speed of modern life. As we get older, it becomes more and more difficult to muster up the necessary energy to simply keep a relationship going.

Staying healthy can also be viewed as a sort of "gift" you give to your partner. If one person in a relationship gets very sick, a devoted partner may still be willing to stay and take care of them. After all, traditional Western, Christian marriage vows contain the idea of staying together "in sickness and in health." However, it would, of course, be better if your partner would not have to go through such difficulties, particularly if the couple has very limited resources. Preventing serious illness—either in yourself or your partner—is a good way to make life easier on you both. It may also keep you both in a better position within the relationship. Having one partner act as the "caretaker" can create an extremely unhealthy, unbalanced power dynamic. If not handled right, one partner may come to feel infantilized and humiliated, and resent the very partner who is looking after him/her. It can be much easier to remain life partners—with a true partnership—if both parties are healthy. Who knows? Sharing healthy habits (i.e. cooking nutritious meals together, exercising together, etc.) can be a great opportunity for bonding.

As far as long-term relationships are concerned, wishing to maintain youthful health and energy by undergoing anti aging therapies does not necessarily make you superficial. Rather, you may simply want to give your partner the attention he/she deserves.