A Report From The Hottest Place On Earth

A Report From The Hottest Place On Earth

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It's been a full ten days since the initial Snowmaggedon hit the Virginia suburbs, and the main street that runs through my little part of the world has still not been plowed. Or salted. Or sanded. In order to negotiate the street you have to put your tires in the grooves worn in to the ice by fellow travelersand hope that you dont bottom out, which so far hasnt happened to me. But others have not been so lucky, and must depend on others to get their vehicle rolling again.

The problemsay the politiciansis that nobody put any money in the budget for snow, or snow removalbecause they were all caught up in Fat Al Gores theory of global warming, which was being defended by some idiots on Sunday morning talk shows. Ceci Connolly of the Washington Post contended that 2009 was the hottest year ever. Funny then that out of East Angliathe epicenter of the global warming worldthat Phil Jonesheretofore cited by Fat Al on almost a daily basis now says that there has been no significant warming since 1995and that the Middle Agesyou remember them, right? The Middle Ages might have been hotter.

And back then we had no Charmin, no deoderant, and as I recall, no running wateror sewage or waste disposal systems. We did have Fat Als great great great great great great great great greatgrand daddy one Bubonic P. Gore, who believed that bathing on a regular basis was not a good idea either. I believe it was the American Indians who convinced the Gores that personal hygiene was in fact, a good idea. (I think it was so they could tell the difference between boars and goreswhich smelled the same, but tasted remarkedly different, and it saved on arrows.)

So far in 2010 we have shattered the all time snowfall record in the area, which was 56 inches, and currently stands at 61, and winter doesnt seem to be finished yet. The District of Columbia still hasnt been plowed either. For those of you who believe the government can manage health care, this should be a lesson. The government that cant get itz streets plowed in two weeks cant run a lemonade stand. Hope and change do not the streets plow.

Maybe Obama could take some of that bailout money, and hire some people to shovel snow. You know that $900 billion dollars he just had to have back in 09, of which he hasnt spent $600 billion, just yet. He could buy some shovels from Lowes or Home Depot, and put a whole bunch of people to work.

Now is the time to get your tool kit stocked. When the warm weather hits this year the mooks will be out like thickets of mosquitos after being cooped up all winter.


About the Author:
Unless you want dangerous criminal mooks to attack, rob, and maybe even kill you or your loved ones, buy pepper spray and a stun gun.



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