A Kid's Birthday Party, Fear Turned To Tears

My little friends are ten. Jordan just had her birthday and Lindsey's birthday is in December. I have been listening to them talk about what kind of party they want and who they plan to invite for months now.

As Jordan's birthday was fast approaching, the excitement was building as she and her mom made plans for the party. It takes time to plan the food, the cake, party favors and all the details from the color of the balloons to the invitations. Once the invitations were picked out Jordan and her mom sent them out. Every time Jordan talked with me she was full of anticipation of her big day. I was so excited for her.

Then one day I was so surprised to see Jordan moping about in her yard. I called out to her "Hey! Your birthday's only a week away why so sad?" She just looked at me with tear filled eyes and said "no one is coming to my party other than Lindsey". I couldn't believe my ears. Her fear that no one was going to come to her party had now turned to tears. By now I am over the fence holding her while she is crying.

After consoling her I visited with her mom to see what was going on. Her mom explained that they had planned a really special birthday party; they had sent out invitations to her classmates and had asked to receive a response a week before the party. That way she would know exactly how many kids would be attending. And she would know how many party favors to have, what size of cake and how much ice cream she would need so no child would be left out. They were focusing on making this a special day for all her friends. It was exactly a week before the big day and only Lindsey has responded. Jordan is so stressed out that no one likes her enough to come to a party that she had been planning in her mind for months. Jordan had said "If only they liked me enough to let me know."

As moms we hurt when our children hurt, and Jordan's mom was feeling the anguish that her daughter felt also. Both Jordan and her mom had put a lot of time and energy into planning a special party for her friends. And no one had RSVP'd. My little friend was devastated she felt no one in the whole wide world liked her. And her mom didn't know what to do to make it better as she was wrapped up in all the emotions her daughter was going through.

I explained that some people don't know that means to please respond, with a yes or a no. Some parents believe they don't need to respond unless they are coming, and others think it means they don't need to respond unless they are not coming. Some people are just inconsiderate and don't think they should have to respond. So if it just so happens that half of her list was coming and didn't think they needed to RSVP, and the other half can't come and they didn't think they needed to respond, then you will have kids who will be at the party. You just don't know how many.

So I got into gear, looked over the list and suggested that we call everyone on the list. Her mom said "I feel funny calling and asking if they are coming, what if they feel like I'm putting them on the spot?" "Well in my book, I said, they are putting you on the spot by not taking the time to be courteous enough to let your child know that their kid is coming to Jordan's party."

So she called each of the parents whose child was invited and said, "Hi, this is Jordan's mom and there must have been a mix up as I don't recall receiving a call from you regarding the invitation. So I was checking if your daughter is coming to Jordan's birthday party next week I want to make sure I don't leave anyone out?"

After all the calls were made it turned out that twelve of the seventeen girls were going to make it to the party after all. So the crisis was averted. Jordan's broken world was back in place. The party was a great success!

No tears would have fallen, no self confidence crushed had parents responded in a timely manner. It's important to remember it takes time and money to plan a kid's birthday party. It only takes a moment to respond to an invitation. By not responding to a kids birthday party you are holding the ones who want to treat your child to a good time hostage. They are left wondering are they, or are they not coming? How do I plan to have enough party favors, cake and ice cream for those who don't respond? If it's a party that involves tickets such as skating, movie, water rides, without responses it cannot be planned.

Life is hard enough for all of us, let's all use a bit of common courtesy and respond in a timely manner the next time you receive a personal invitation.