4 Effective Advices For A Desperate Mother

I do believe that we can lose our peace of mind when we're a mom. At some point, we just feel and know that things aren't anymore under our control. Perhaps you know what went wrong, perhaps you do not even recall the way that occurred, how this routine made of tantrums and screams settled into your life. I believe that the minute we are tempted to google "desperate mother", is when we feel like we've tried all kinds of things and that we're powerless and tired and perhaps afraid we might not love our child enough. It is a shocking thought, but it can happen too, it is a reality.

What I want you to do, dear desperate mother, is to look at things in perspective, take some time to think and understand that your child is a child, that he'll not adapt himself to you if you don't modify your own behavior, reactions, words. What you need is good communication skills, know which mistakes you make and what you can do to improve things. Being a desperate mother is not a fatality because there is always a solution.

Here are my 5 key advices:

1 - Do not give in. Your kid thinks in a simple way. When he gets what he wants by screaming or insisting, he'll keep acting the same way. When he understands you don't ever give in, don't ever change your mind when you decide something, he'll really have to accept it because then he will know that tantrums are unnecessary.

2 - Discuss with your kid. Take that time. Value what he does, what he tells you, don't make him must grab your attention by being annoying. Make clear to him the things you do, your feelings, where you're taking him, how you expect him to behave. Discuss with him about his bad behaviour during quiet moments, do not wait until the tantrum occurs to explain that it is a bad attitude. Express compassion, even when you do not give in, say you understand his frustration or anger.

3 - Do not spank, stop yelling. Stay calm and always keep your voice down. Yes, as a desperate mother, it seems impossible and you're half-right, it can be pretty problematic but it is a important advice I am giving you here! The way your kid reacts means that it's a way of expression he has chosen probably because you didn't give or express any alternative. When you are mad at someone and start quarrelling and that person remains very calm and talks in a quiet voice, what do you do? You calm down. If your little one screams, tell him he has other alternatives, that he can express his feelings with words just like you. Same thing when he hits you or bites.

4 - Do not label your child as a liar, a cheater, a bad child... You don't accept his behaviour but you love him and you believe he can act differently. Be sure he understands it or he may believe in this label and act on it for the rest of his life, just like the label "desperate mother" is not going to help you understand and improve the situation.

5 - Be coherent and persistent. Reward a good behavior, explain what's wrong and right. Make your child choose a good behaviour by showing him what it can bring to him, the trust you can put in him, the moments you can share.

Were you expecting something more simple? Come on, parenting is not simple but with the good communication tools, you can modify the situation, have your peace of mind back and your personnal life, have young children you can really rely on and trust. It's at your reach. You can go from a desperate mother to a happy one. A great number of mums and dads experienced that. I did. Good luck !