101 Reasons Why Lindsay Lohan And Samantha Ronson Will Break Up

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# Lindsay will tell Sam that she thinks Britney Spears is kinda hot. Sam will fume.
# Lindsay wants to be different than Paris Hilton. Congrats. You dated a girl. You are different. Now go back to making movies and dating guys.
# Sam knows Lindsay is not a true lesbian.
# Sam can hear an actual clock ticking in her head as to when Lindsay will wake up from her yearlong slumber, look at Sam, say WTF and run out of their home.
# Sam knows every guy and girl checks out Lindsay when they go out together, and it drives her crazy.
# Lindsay is curvy, Sam is bony, Sam should be curvy, but Sam is not curvy.
# Lindsay likes to shop for clothes, get her hair done, and talk about boys.
# Sam doesnt know how to do those things.
# Sam got her first arousal when seeing Lindsay in the Parent Trap.
# Lindsay was 12 when she filmed that movie.
# Lindsay got her first arousal when seeing Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise.
# When Lindsay first met Sam, she thought she was a guy.
# When Sam first met Lindsay, she shat her pants.
# Sam doesnt know why Lindsay likes her so much.
# Lindsay refuses to classify herself as a lesbian.
# Sam has T-shirts which say PROUD LESBIAN on the front.
# Lindsay said she does not know what she will be in 5 years, 5 months, or 5 days from now.
# Sam knows exactly what she will be like in 50 years from now.
# Sam constantly asks herself how she landed the hottest young star in Hollywood.
# Sam is losing sleep and hair over Lindsay being 3x as hot as her.
# Sam has a job, thereby making it difficult to lose sleep.
# Sam is a DJ; Lindsay has to shake her butt at the DJ booth to keep Sam happy.
# Sam will find herself distracted by Lindsays womanly curves, thereby interrupting her DJ sets.


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