10 Signs Of Critical Marriage Trouble | Love Marriage

If any of the following 10 signs sound like they came from your marriage, beware and take action. Sometimes all it takes is to be faced with the truth to wake up and realize your marriage is in critical trouble. Wake up, right now and make changes. Take the time and effort necessary to face these problems now.

1. Grudge holding

2. The "silent treatment"

3. Declining affection

4. Lack of or unsatisfactory intimacy

5. Constant Criticism

6. Emotional needs not being met

7. Marriage boredom

8. "I can't stand it anymore"

9. Put-downs

10. Anger, bitterness and emotional isolation

Making changes now has to be your top priority. You're not too busy, stressed or have too much responsibility. Those are just excuses. Don't wait until later because you think it is just a phase or that your partner will always be there, because after all you are married. One of the biggest mistakes couples make is procrastinating because they feel secure because they are married. That can be a big mistake and one of the reasons you hear people say, "I don't understand what happened, my spouse left and I don't know why." There were signs before that happened and chances are some of them are listed above but were ignored or shrugged off. Don't let that happen to you.

Let's take a look at these more closely. What simple things might make a difference?

1. Grudge holding - Forgive offenses immediately. Never throw them in your spouse's face later. Don't hold onto hurts after the issue is over. The only person that gets hurt when you hold a grudge is you.

2. Silent treatment - Don't use the silent treatment in the face of problems. When you get in an argument or things don't go your way giving your spouse the silent treatment doesn't solve the problem, it creates a chasm of emotional distance that makes communication and problem solving come to a screeching stop.

3. Declining Affection - You know affection has declined when hand holding, snuggling, and kissing doesn't feel natural or good anymore. Decline in affection has a lot to do with getting out of the habit or when emotional needs are not being met.

4. Lack of or unsatisfactory intimacy - Attraction wanes when emotions have been trampled. You are attracted to your spouse when you feel good around them. Make the effort to make your spouse feel good about themselves when they are with you. Never tear them down. Seek to know what emotional needs they have that you can provide. When emotional needs are met you feel closer to your spouse and sex becomes a giving union.

5. Constant Criticism - Criticism breaks apart marital closeness because the spouse giving the criticism is constantly focusing on negative things about their spouse and by so doing they will talk themselves right out of love. The spouse receiving the criticism feels unloved and uncharished because they feel they can never measure up to what their spouse expects. Focus on the positive characteristic of your spouse. Whenever you start to criticize, stop yourself and replace it with a positive. That goes for your thoughts too. The spouse receiving the positive feedback will feel loved, cherished and will want to make you feel the same.

6. Emotional needs not being met - Everyone has different emotional needs. In order to be able to fulfill them you have to find out what they are. There are basic ones like feeling needed, wanted, loved and special to your spouse but there are also other unique ones to each person. Find out what your spouse's basic emotional needs are that they need from you. If you don't understand why they need those specific things from you ask questions until you understand their needs and how you can provide for them. They will be different from yours and probably other peoples too. We all come from different emotional backgrounds so we are all are unique.

7. Marriage boredom - Dating was all about spending time together usually doing things you enjoyed, activities that were new, that were fun and exciting. Marriage should be the same. When you just drag along on auto pilot and don't make the effort to keep the fun and excitement in your marriage it gets boring - and that's no fun for anybody. Schedule at least one date a week or more. Have fun with your dates. Take turns planning them. Have surprise dating activities. Do things on some of your dates that you have never done before. Dress up and feel good for your dates like you did before you were married.

8. Statements from your spouse like "I can't stand it anymore" - If you hear things like this or anything threatening or dismissing of your marriage, stop and listen. That is the time for a heads-up! Evaluate and find out why they feel like this. Usually this is a spouses way of giving a last warning that you marriage is in serious trouble. You can't afford to put off listening without criticism or blame. Get to the bottom of what your spouse's unhappiness now.

9. Put-downs - There is never an excuse for putting your spouse down or saying things that are degrading or hurtful. This will take the affection and respect for a spouse away just about as fast as anything can. Avoid this! If it happens in your marriage you need to fix it ASAP. Stick up for your spouse if anyone says anything in any way that is a put down of them. Always build up your spouse in public and in private.

10. Anger, bitterness and feelings of isolation from your spouse - Emotional hurts should be handled as they happen not left until they grow into a huge Cancerous mass spreading through the relationship.

You can see how just a change in your attitude or a discussion and action on your part could change the whole way your marriage functions. Take an inventory of where your relationship is at. Is it floundering bogged down with any of these marriage destroying issues?

Do something now and everyday to improve your marriage.