you're So Talented!

Have you ever walked into a room and met someone who immediately makes you feel like an old buddy, even though you've just met?
Or ever chatted with someone who listens attentively and makes you feel like you are the most important human being on the planet?
You may have noticed that these charismatic people appear to just glide through any situation with an air of calm confidence and grace. Everyone wishes to be their friend.

So what is it that sets these people apart from the rest of us poor mortals? What qualities do they have in common? Are certain people simply born with magnetic abilities or can they be learnt?

Charisma refers to a rare quality found in certain human personalities usually including tremendous charm and a 'magnetic' quality of persona and/or appearance along with a powerful capacity to communicate persuasively.

A person with a magnetic personality makes everybody he or she interacts with feel empowered or validated. The positive energy and the selfless interest in the other individual makes someone with a magnetic personality very well-liked indeed.

Charismatic individuals usually project unusual calmness, self-confidence, assertiveness, authority, authenticity, and focus, and nearly always have exceptional communication and/or oratorical abilities.

Here is a list of the most common qualities found in charismatic people.

Universal Traits:
Open body posture, hands away from face when talking, stands up straight, relaxed, hands apart with palms forward or upwards

When addressing an individual:
Letting people know they count and you get pleasure from being around them, develop a sincere smile, nod in agreement when they talk, briefly touch them on the upper arm, and maintain eye contact

When addressing a group:
Is comfortable as leader, move around to appear enthusiastic, lean a little forward and look at all areas of the group

Delivering the message:
Moves ahead of status quo and make a difference, be controversial, new, simple to understand, counter-intuitive

Verbal communication:
Being clear, fluent, compelling and articulate, evoking imagery, using an upbeat tempo, occasionally slow for tension or emphasis.

How can we use this in our personal lives?
IE. Praising your partner... youre so clever... and praising/supporting those around you, "I am so proud of you".

Offering to help out or pitch-in. Sure I can help...

Give out to get back 10 fold.

Research has shown that people often dont stray beyond a marriage or have affairs because someone else has made them feel nice about themselves. Compliment, praise and make your partner feel wonderful about themself, each time the opportunity arises. Odds are extremely good that theyll catch on to your drift and the compliments will come your way too!

So how can you increase your charisma?
Be ready to interact. When you arrive at a party, event or anyplace conversations will take place, prepare yourself before you arrive. Be prepared with conversation topics, questions and stories in the back of your mind as soon as you meet someone. This will help you sidestep awkward small talk.

Focus on common point of interest. It's an essential factor in every conversation and interaction. Your duty, as you meet new people, or even as you talk with those you already know, is to determine the common point of interest as soon as possible. It assists create a bond between you and others. It increases your approachability and helps them to feel more relaxed chatting with you.

Add some enthusiasm to your answers. You've heard plenty of ineffective questions in your interactions, questions like "How's it going?" "What's up?" or "How are you?" When such questions come up, don't fall into the trap of responding, "Okay." Instead offer a flavoured response: "Fantastic!" "Any better, and I'd be twins!" or "Everything is beautiful." The other person will immediately change his or her demeanour, smile and, the majority of the time, ask what made you answer that way. Why? Because no one expects it. Not just that, but giving a real reply to magnify the way you feel is a perfect way to share yourself or make yourself personally available to other people.

Never cross your arms. Even if you're cold, bored, weary or simply don't want to be there, don't cross your arms. It makes you seem defensive, nervous, negative, close-minded or sceptical. It's a simple, subconscious, nonverbal cue that says, "Stay away." People see crossed arms, and they drift away. They don't want to disturb you. You're not approachable.

Be Genuine. Nothing is more attractive than being sincere. Authenticity creates a strong emotional bond. Being real allows for trusting and enduring relationships.