you're So Charasmatic!

Have you ever walked into a room and met someone who instantly makes you feel like an old friend, even though you've just met?
Or ever chatted with someone who listens intently and makes you feel like you are the most important human being on the planet?
You may have noticed that these charismatic people appear to just glide through any situation with an air of calm confidence and grace. Everyone wants to be their pal.

So what is it that sets these people apart from the rest of us poor mortals? What traits do they have in common? Are certain people simply born with charming abilities or can they be learnt?

Charisma refers to a rare trait found in certain human personalities usually including extreme charm and a 'magnetic' quality of personality and/or appearance along with a great talent to communicate persuasively.

A person with a magnetic personality makes everybody he or she interacts with feel empowered or validated. The positive energy and the selfless interest in the other party makes someone with a magnetic personality very well-liked indeed.

Charismatic individuals commonly project remarkable calmness, self-confidence, assertiveness, authority, genuineness, and focus, and nearly always possess superior communication and/or oratorical abilities.

Here is a list of the most common qualities found in charismatic people.

Universal Traits:
Open body posture, hands away from face when talking, stands up straight, relaxed, hands apart with palms forward or upwards

When addressing an individual:
Letting people know they matter and you get pleasure from being around them, develop a genuine smile, nod in agreement when they talk, briefly touch them on the upper arm, and maintain eye contact

When addressing a group:
Is comfortable as leader, move around to appear enthusiastic, lean a little forward and look at all areas of the group

Delivering the message:
Moves ahead of status quo and make a difference, be controversial, novel, simple to understand, counter-intuitive

Verbal communication:
Being clear, fluent, compelling and articulate, evoking imagery, using an upbeat tempo, occasionally slow for tension or emphasis.

How can we use this in our personal lives?
IE. Praising your partner... youre so clever... and praising/supporting those around you, "I am so proud of you".

Offering to help out or pitch-in. Sure I can help...

Give out to get back 10 fold.

Research has shown that people often dont stray outside a marriage or have affairs because someone else has made them feel good about themselves. Compliment, praise and make your partner feel great about themself, at any time the opportunity arises. Odds are extremely good that theyll catch on to your drift and the compliments will come your way too!

So how can you increase your charisma?
Be ready to engage. When you arrive at a social gathering, event or anyplace conversations will take place, prepare yourself before you arrive. Be prepared with conversation topics, questions and stories in the back of your mind as soon as you meet someone. This will help you avoid awkward small talk.

Focus on common point of interest. It's an key factor in every conversation and interaction. Your duty, as you meet new people, or even as you chat with those you already know, is to determine the common point of interest as quickly as possible. It aids establish a bond between you and others. It increases your approachability and helps them to feel more comfortable talking with you.

Add some zest to your answers. You've heard loads of ineffective questions in your interactions, questions like "How's it going?" "What's up?" or "How are you?" When such questions come up, don't fall into the trap of responding, "Okay." Instead offer a flavoured reply: "Astounding!" "Any better, and I'd be twins!" or "Everything is beautiful." The other person will immediately change his or her demeanour, smile and, most of the time, inquire what made you answer that way. Why? Because no one expects it. Not just that, but offering a genuine reply to magnify the way you feel is a perfect way to share yourself or make yourself personally available to other people.

Do not cross your arms. Even if you're cold, bored, weary or just don't want to be there, don't cross your arms. It makes you seem defensive, tense, judgmental, close-minded or sceptical. It's a simple, subliminal, nonverbal cue that says, "Stay away." People see crossed arms, and they drift away. They don't want to trouble you. You're not accessible.

Be Genuine. Nothing is more attractive than being real. Authenticity creates a strong emotional bond. Being sincere allows for trusting and lasting relationships.